I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize