I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
