i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
only you would photoshop your dick
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
