That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
