I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
