You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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