now i know why i became what i already was.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i drank out of a bidet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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