If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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