Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
