those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
