Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize