He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
