just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
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