i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
