My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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