He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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