carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We have started to decorate penises.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
