Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How's work?
Spinning.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize