What did we do last night that was yellow?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize