Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
