I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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