I wannas sexs uuuuu
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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