Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
