But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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