Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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