if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
