I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
