i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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