you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
