New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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