i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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