dude i'm inner monologue high
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
