Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
