I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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