Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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