Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
