I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
