I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
