Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
