is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
