The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
