The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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