Yo dont text me then not text me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
