ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize