dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize