why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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