May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
