I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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