There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
