We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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