today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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