So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize