I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
