remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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