I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
