ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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