I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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