Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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