don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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