I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize