Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
