Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do vagina's smell?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
