I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
